Picture a young child preparing for music practice (in this case, violin lessons). Are you picturing a contented youth, brimming with potential, smiling as he puts rosin on his bow and attaches his chin rest to the violin? That may be how it is in many houses, but not ours. The following is a word for word transcription of the near-daily struggle my younger son and I have.
Me: "Alright babe, time for violin."
Him: "No."
Me: "It'll be quick, love. Let's just do it."
Him: "Nope. No way."
Me: "We need to practice what you've learned in violin lessons."
Him: "No."
Me: "Come on, babe. Just pick up the violin! Get ready. Let's go already."
Him: "You can't make me."
Me: "If you don't practice, you don't earn smiley faces."
Him: "So?!!!?"
Me: "Then you won't earn any more Tintin books."
Him: "I hate TinTin."
Me: "Alright, no TV for a week if you don't practice."
Him: "I hate TV."
Me: "Babe, if you had just started when I asked you would have been finished with violin three times over."
Him: "You're not the boss of me."
Me: "I am the boss of you. Please practice violin, NOW!"
Him: "Nope. Never."
Me: "Fine. If you don't practice then I'm going to donate all your toys to charity."
Him: "What's 'donate' mean?"
Me: "It means 'give away forever.'
Him: "So. I hate toys."
I then start to leave the room to donate his toys to some random charity when he caves.
Him: "Alright, daddy. But I don't know how to set up my violin."
He does. But I know which battles to pick.
Me: "Fine. I'll set it up [put on the chin rest]. Now, let's practice."
Same dance. Every day.
But we may have turned an important corner this week. Now, my boy can play a song, and violin is a significantly more satisfying activity. He's learned the "Flower Song," and things are looking bright on the violin scene. It's a simple song (pepperoni pizza rythms on E, F sharp, E, and A). Easy and satisfying.
Beginning violin consists of endless perfecting of fairly boring skills like holding the bow, holding the violin, standing correctly for playing violin, bowing properly, etc. Understandably, my younger boy found the practices in which he practiced standing, bowing, and holding the bow rather dry. He was bored so wasn't excited to practice. That has changed. He's now feeling excited by his new skills. Practices, for the moment anyway, are going to proceed with much less drama.
My older boy experienced some success this week, too. He was awarded a PE All Star for the third straight year at school. This award is given to the best athlete/rule follower in gym class. A significant achievement as it is one of the only awards available to K-3rd grade. (He won a math award, too, last year, but I'm trying to stay classy and resist the temptation to brag).
Speaking of bragging, my eldest son's baseball game was a resounding success yesterday. My boy was 3-3 with two doubles and a single. He played good defense. My boy and his best friend (who's also on the team) were accused of being too old to participate by the opposing coach. This suggestion was both preposterous (because of relative size of my son's opponents) and gratifying (all those hours of catch have clearly paid off).
Perhaps this posting was a bit too self-congratulatory, but parents need an occasional weekend like this. In chronicling my experiences parenting, it has become clear to me that parenting is frequently an exercise ripe with failure and humiliation. Occasional moments of true success are hard to come by and should be savored and posted for posterity.